Mark Consuelos reflects on his father’s death, describing him as a “mythical character” and a major influence
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The actor appeared on the I've Never Said This Before with Tommy DiDario podcast, in a clip PEOPLE can exclusively premiere
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Working on Broadway helped him process his grief, Consuelos says, but the loss hit harder during a family memorial
Mark Consuelosis opening up about the loss of his father.
In an exclusive clip from the Tuesday, May 12 episode of iHeartRadio'sI've Never Said This Before with Tommy DiDariopodcast, theLive with Kelly and Markco-host became emotional while reflecting on the death of his father,Saul Consuelos, whodied in March 23 after a lengthy illness.
“You know, I lost my father five weeks ago,” Consuelos tells host Tommy DiDario, in a conversation taped on May 1. “And it was kind of a brutal five-month saga leading up to him passing. I knew it was happening. We all knew, this is going to happen.”
The actor, who is currently starring in the Roundabout Theatre Company's revival ofFallen Angelson Broadway, says he prayed for “a merciful exit” for his father and was grateful that “it happened that way — very quickly and painlessly.”
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Still, even though he tried to emotionally prepare himself for "the eventuality" of the loss ahead of time, when his father died, the reality hit hard.
“My father’s a mythical character to me,” Consuelos explains. “He’s, like, the best man I’ve ever met. Everything good that I’ve kind of globbed onto of how I carry myself comes from him.”
“I guess what I haven’t said is, I miss my dad,” he continues. “I’ve never said that. I’ve never said, ‘I miss my dad.’ Because he’s always been in my life. He’s always been available to me.”
The 55-year-old says he was in tech rehearsals forFallen Angelswhen his father died, forcing him to “compartmentalize” his grief while continuing to work on the production. “It was a welcomed distraction because I had to do this,” he says.
But when his family gathered for a memorial service, the loss became more real. “We just had a memorial for him this past Monday, where the family all got together,” he says. “And the reality of him being gone hit, of himactuallybeing gone.”
Though he says he still feels his father’s presence strongly, the actor became emotional while describing what he misses most.
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“I am starting to…,” Consuelos says before taking a deep breath. “I’m going to miss just giving him a hug and holding his hand and just laughing with him. That’s something I’ve never said in my life. I’m going to miss my dad.”
DiDario went on to thank Consuelos for sharing the moment, pointing out how helpful his words would be to "anyone going through their grief right now.”
"He’s certainly proud of you," DiDario says. "Look at everything you’re doing. Broadway star!"
That inspired Consuelos to share how he honors his father before walking onstage each night. “I do look up in the house every now and again,” he says. “You can’t really see, because of the lights. And I kind of picture [him]. I think about him before I go on stage.”
Consuelos announced his father’s death on the April 22 episode ofLive with Kelly and Mark.“My father passed away peacefully surrounded by family and love,” he said at the time, adding that his father “lived a beautiful life.”
"He came here from Mexico in his early teens, he immigrated here from Mexico. He served his country for 30 years. Ended up at Special Operations Command in Tampa. This young kid from Mexico just got his education from the Navy. Was always going to school. Was brilliant. Got his master's while I was a kid," he shared.
“He loved his country so much,” Consuelos added. “If you’re going to put a face to an immigrant, he would be the prime example of what this country promises people.”
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Kelly Ripa— who shares childrenMichael, 28, Lola, 24, and Joaquin, 23,with Mark — also paid tribute to her father-in-law during the episode, remembering him as “the kindest man.”
New episodes of theI've Never Said This Before with Tommy DiDariopodcast drop Tuesdays.
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